When my husband and I thought about starting a family we had these visions of babies and toddlers. Cute, cuddly, sweet individuals who would become our whole world.  Our four children have become our whole world, but they are no longer so little and guess what? Parenting is hard. Really hard. Every day, every month, every year each one of our children are changing. They have their own personalities, thoughts, emotions and they are all different. Our job is to guide them and to teach them. In a world where a lot of people think things should be just handed to you, it’s becoming increasing hard. We are trying to parent slightly different from the norm today to ensure we raise responsible, successful young adults. I was excited to receive an advance copy of How To Raise An Adult for this exact reason!

In the book, “How To Raise an Adult,” Julie Lythcott-Haims the pages are filled with research. Julie gives her unique perspective on overparenting and how it’s affecting our young adult children today. Her experience as a student dean and through countless conversations with educators, admissions officers, employers, and even students themselves shows the constant parent involvement that is preventing our children from “growing up.”  She  shows specific examples on how most of today’s generation of parents are trying so hard to protect their children and make the way for them that they have forgotten how to teach them to do things for themselves. To raise a responsible, confident adult, you have to start now – when your children are little!

I have seen this first hand as my husband and I live on the outskirts of a college town. We own several homes that we rent to college students. We are firm believers that these college “kids” are in fact adults. I mean what is the age now that most Americans stop calling an young adult a child? 25, 30…?  Young adults, but with the responsibilities of a child because of constant parent involvement, including parents setting up leases, grocery shopping and even cleaning for their adult children. I think it is beyond ridiculous. The majority of these young adults are lacking the ability to even take care of themselves because they never were given the chance to do it. They grew up having someone do everything for them and solving basic problems like plunging a toilet (I’m not kidding!) or even purchasing and changing a light bulb are some of the things they cannot do. Can you imagine calling your landlord to have them plunge the toilet for you? If only the parents knew. I think they would be mortified! I may not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it for myself! This is NOT how I want to send my children out into the real world.

One of my favorite parts in this book is in the section “Teaching Life Skills”.  You can’t give someone life skills, they have to acquire them. As parents, even basic tasks, like grooming, cleaning, banking, laundry and cooking should be taught as such:

• first we do it for you
• then we do it with you
• then we watch you do it
• then you do it completely independently

The point is not do for your child what they can do for themselves. It may be nice, warm and fuzzy to do it for them, but it does NOT teach them how to do things for themselves! Somewhere after step 2, parents today seem to get stuck. Almost like we are afraid to see what will happen if we let kids do things on their own.  What if they fail? What if it’s not perfect? Well- that’s the learning part, and the skills that we are taken away by doing everything for them.

I’m definitely not a perfect parent and I know I have and will make mistakes along my parenting journey. If I could give one gift to my children though, it would be for them to be able to go out into this world without me and be able to succeed. There will come a time when my husband and I will not be around and my grown children will have to be in complete control of their own lives.

I absolutely loved this book, from front to back and it’s a real eye opener. It forces us to take a look at some hard truths that are going on today with our children and it gives us countless examples that may even make you cringe a bit. If you are interested in raising your children to become self- sufficient, responsible, confident adults, read this book. It will completely change the way you look at parenting!

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I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

*Linking up at Oh My Heartsie Girl

The post “How To Raise An Adult” Book Review appeared first on Cozy Country Living.

When I think about a vacation, I think about doing things that I don’t normally make time for.  Taking more time to play with my children, sitting back and enjoying the warm breezes and of course sitting at the beach or pool side with a good book.  I love to read, but sometimes I just don’t make time for it.  As soon as we arrived in Florida this year for vacation, I grabbed my Kindle- purchased “Soul Sessions” by Carson Gage on Amazon.com, my sunglasses and set up a lounge chair in the sun by the pool and got reading!  Ahhh, vacation!

It’s funny how you can get lost in a book.  Even with 4 happy children yelling and splashing around in a pool right next to me, I found myself really enjoying this novel.  I’ve always been very interested in books about the unknown, mysteries of life and death, our own minds and the spiritual connections we have with others.

About The Book:

Soul Sessions is “an engaging journey of love and spiritual awakening, Soul Sessions starts in current day Chicago, where Nick Dalton is a troubled yet highly successful Investment Banker with a gorgeous girlfriend and an extravagant lifestyle. Despite all his success, Nick falls into a deep depression after a life altering event. Just as it looks as though Nick’s life might end in suicide, enter Katrina DuMont, a gifted psychologist who is expert in both traditional and new age methods of treatment for depression. Together, using past-life regression techniques, they explore several of Nick’s prior incarnations, where he unwittingly discovers a beautiful woman who repeatedly appears as his lover and soul mate. To potentially reawaken his epic love affair, Nick is compelled to search for her in this lifetime. Thus begins an astonishing story of love and intrigue, where Nick stumbles across inconceivable answers to some of life’s greatest mysteries … and once again finds the course of his life altered.”

The author, Carson Gage has been interested in the mysteries of life and death since the age of seven, when he survived being run over by a speeding car.  This experience led him on a journey of discovery for answers to some of life’s biggest questions.  I found this very interesting.

Have you ever wondered if we have multiple lives?  Do we have soulmates?  How does serendipity affect our lives?  Do we have a pre-life plan and how does it co-exist with our free will?  What happens after we die?

This book will make your mind wander as you are taken along on Nick’s journey searching for his love and finding his purpose in this life.  Reading through the first chapter, I didn’t really care for the egotistical Nick, but this book got very “real” in the very next chapter and I found myself anticipating his next “session” with the turn (or swipe) of each page.  This book was heartbreaking at times and it really made me feel for the main character.  At the same time it showed that love does last forever and that it has no boundaries.  That those strong emotions, feelings and connections we have for a special loved one can carry on through time.

I couldn’t put this book down and it was a fairly quick read, taking only about 2 hours or so to complete.  I sat by the pool all day and read it straight through with the exception of a lunch break.  Soul Sessions also left me pondering about different aspects of it even days after I read it and I love that don’t you?!

If you love to read and haven’t found or made the time to do so lately, make some time.  Whether you are traveling this Spring, or are stuck indoors on a rainy afternoon, give Soul Sessions a read.  Get a paper back edition or download it instantly to your Kindle and get lost in this mysterious and emotional story this Spring!

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

The post Vacation Reading: Soul Sessions Book Review appeared first on Cozy Country Living.